Denied
by hazardousriskyunsafe
Summary: Not going to ruin this story with a summary that will give anything away.
1. Chapter 1

_**Ok, I seriously shouldn't be even writing a new story knowing I haven't finished the other two but they're coming along nicely now and I couldn't help myself but to post this one too! hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing this story.**_

**Short chapter to begin with because I don't want to give to much away right at the beginning. **

Denied

**Chapter One.**

_**'Joey, **_

_**it's been 3 months, 13 weeks, 91 days and it's been 2191 hours 45 minutes since I last spoke to you in person. **_

_**I miss you. Alice, Lynne and all the family miss you too. I keep expecting for you to walk through the door after work and greet me with that smile, I miss that. I still haven't got used to sleeping in the bed alone, I hate that I can't lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat, it makes me so frustrated that you aren't here that I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. I'm trying my best to stay strong for you, but my heart feels like its ripped apart everytime your name is mentioned, the lady in the cafe down in London keeps asking me where you are whenever I go in there, I don't think she heard the news. It's nice that people have not forgot you were here, I enjoy her asking so much I can't bring myself to correct her just yet or tell her the truth. **_

_**There isn't a lot I need you, you already know most of it I bet. Alice vists you all the time and we all know what she's like.**_

_**I wish I knew if you missed me as much I miss you, where you are. **_

_**All my love Lauren'**_


	2. Chapter 2

Denied

**Chapter two**

How had my life spiralled so out of control, thing's were always bad for me but never this bad.

I was now 24 years old, it felt like Joey had been gone a life time, he would miss out on me being 24 it stung as I thought about it he would miss out on everything he wouldn't see me at any age other than 23, I was now 24 still running to the door everytime it knocked and also everytime the patter of the envelopes hit the mat to our house, I checked my phone every minute of everyday and when it finally did call I always wished it was him but knew it wasn't.

If hell was anywhere it would be here in this house alone, full of memories and once happiness. I packed the last of Joey's things up into the boxes and stacked them to the front door.

My final decision was made to pack his things up and take them to Alice's when I recieved the mail this morning. The envolopes thudded onto the door mat, something I had been waiting for, for the past 2 days. Whoever thought it was a good idea not to have post delivered on a sunday obviously wasn't thinking about me. I ripped open the envelope I knew exactly where it was from when I saw the 'HM PRISON SERVICE' printed on the top of the page, still inside was my letter, I read it aloud to myself:

_**To whom this may concern, **_

_**I have recently spoken to a Mr J Branning and it comes to my regret that your request to visit has been denied on his behalf. Whilst there he informed me to tell you that it is his wish that you do not send anything to the prison you will only be receiving it back. **_

_**Miss Branning, I advise you take this into consideration.**_

_**For any more information on this situation please don't hesitate to contact me on 0121 550776.**_

_**Yours sincerely**_

_**Jonathon Smith**_

My letter had been returned as it had last week and every week that Joey had been away there was also another letter that I dreaded opening and knew it was my visiting order it had been denied just like all the other times I asked to see him and when I thought about it, everything I ever wanted was denied from me and it all centred around what I cared for the most.

What I didn't understand was why did Joey keep denying my visiting slips? why did he send my letters back? And for once I had given up.

I opened the front door taking the first box and carrying it over to number 23 I rang the door bell and awaited the answer.

"Here" I said shoving the box into Alices hands

"What's going on?" She asked rubbing her eyes I hadn't called to say I was clearing out I hadn't even checked the time it must have been early Alice never sleeps in

"I'm giving you Joey's stuff oh and that's for telling me Alice, you know about Joey never wanting me to visit" I raised my voice putting her on the spot

"Well you know he still blames himself for everything that happened that night Lo" She answered

"Don't start that again, I don't want to talk about it anymore I spoke about it more than I wanted to in court" I said turning on my heel and rushing back to the house before she could say anymore my thoughts racing around on how Joey ended up in prison, tears ran down my face.

_**Why did Joey go to prison?! Find out in the next chapter!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Denied

_**Enjoy!**_

_everything that looks like this is flashback. _

**Chapter three**

My mind drifted back to the night it all happened, almost like I was stood there just as I was 7 months ago watching it all unfold.

**flash back**

_August 12th 2017_

_"Joey" I shouted into house I'd just finished my shift at the minute mart, I'd taken on D's role in the shop when she married Ian and began working the buisnesses with him. He'd been granted a lone to buy the Argee Bargee and turned it into a caribbean/engish resturant with Denise the manager. I enjoyed working there it took my mind off a lot of things that I didn't want to involve with, Kirsty and dad's baby, there re-marriage, mum finding a new partner and having three step brothers and trying to keep a massive secret from Joey. _

_"In here" He shouted back his voice travelling from the lounge_

_"Hi, not in for long got to pop out for a while" I explained standing in the living room door way where I found Joey sprawled out on the sofa._

_"How long before you go out?" He questioned with a smirk before standing and pulling me into his arms and placing his lips on mine in the same second. I could feel the need in Joey's kiss and I needed to end it otherwise I'd be late, as much I hated to do it, I pushed Joey away from me by the chest, I could see confusion and then hurt in his eyes._

_"I've got to go, I'll see you in a couple of hours" I said rushing for the door. _

**to be continued**

I hadn't even realised I'd stopped in the gardens sitting on the bench, if I'd have just stayed with Joey none of this would have happened, everyone told me I needed to stop blaming myself that it wasn't my fault, that I was innocent in what I was doing before it happened it's just Joey got the wrong end of the stick. Taking Joey's stuff to Alice's was bringing back everything I had tried to forget it was hard but I thought I finally had and now it was all back. The what ifs were circling my mind, as my thoughts began to take over again.

**continued **

_Dad had brought me a new Range Rover for an earlier Christmas present so I was over the moon at the fact me and Joey both had cars as I drove out of the square. It wasn't long before I reached my destination, it didn't take me long to spot my brother Bradley, he had changed since his times on the square and since moving away had dyed his hair a dark brown colour, saying that the ginger reminded him to much of our dad. I quickly parked the car and rushed over to him, pulling him into my arms and hugging him tightly, I linked my arm through his and we walked towards 'H Samuels' the jewlers, today Bradley was going to help me find an engagement ring for Joey. _

_**Ok! I writing the next chapter probably as you read this and will be posting it almost straight after this one, the next chapter will mostly be Joey's POV from the flashbacks.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Denied

_Everything that looks like this is flashback._

**Chapter four **

**Flashback: Joey's POV**

_Lauren hadn't realised I had followed her to the centre at first I was unsure of what she was doing, as soon as the parked up the car I saw her jump into a brown haired man's arms and then walk into the jewlers arm in arm with him. My heart felt was racing fear but that was soon taken over by anger. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Lauren's number. _

_"Hello?" She answered _

_"Hi Lo, you didn't say where you were going. You were in such a rush" I said down the phone hoping it was all a misunderstanding._

_"Ah, I'm just meeting Abi at a little resturant near her house, I'm here now, I was running late sorry I didn't get time to explain" She lied._

_"Oh, ok have a nice evening, I love you" That was all I could say with out my voice breaking as I hung up._

_I waited in the car awaiting them to come out of the shop. _

_I was watching the everyone coming and going from the shopping centre for about an hour before Lauren and the mystery male emerged. She held him tight as she hugged him again and kissed him on the cheek after he handed her a bag with the trade mark 'H Samuel' written on it, it made me sick thinking of what had he brought her. I'd seen enough as I raced back to the square. _

_My first stop would be The Vic, I would do what Lauren would do and drown my sorrows in booze I wanted to forget what I had seen, how could she do that to me. _

_This road was usually deserted so I put my foot down, before I had time to break Danielle and Ronnie were infront of my car and flying of my bonnet onto the pavement. It all happened so quickly, I stepped out of the car in what felt like slow motion. _

_I hadn't reached Ronnie and Danielle when I felt hands on me, Lauren had no colour in her face, she must have seen it all but all she was intrested in was me and if I was all right. _

_My hearing was muffled like I was underwater "Joey, Joey speak to me, are you ok?" Lauren kept saying my hearing was invaded some more by the sound of sirens, what had I done?_

_"Sir, Sir I'm going to need you step out of the way for the time being, do you have any idea what had happened?" He questioned_

_"It happened so quickly, I could stop they appeared out of knowhere" I tried to explain "Are they going to be alright?" I asked fearing the worst but hoping my fear wasn't needed_

_"I shouldn't give this information s-" He was about to say sir when, two white bags were wheeled to the back of two ambulance._

**to be continued.**

**Lauren's POV**

Danielle and Ronnie were killed, but it wasn't Joey's fault they appeared out of knowhere, Danielle ran into the road with Ronnie following straight after, leaving baby Daniel without a mum and Jack looking for someone to blame, ofcourse that was Joey.

I tried to shake my head of everything and carry on with taking Joey's stuff, but it dawned on me that it was all to final.


	5. Chapter 5

Denied

_Remember everything that looks like this is flashback._

**Chapter five **

The door slammed shut and I felt my knee's give way before falling to the floor, I couldn't shake off the thoughts. This was why I didn't think about what happened that night and what happened the following months later, bringing me to today, lonely and wishing I could hold Joey or even hear his voice. The tears ran down my face, whilst my head kept playing the same thing over and over again.

**Flashback**

_"Lauren, I saw you" His eyes not being able to meet mine "I saw you with that man" Joey was now histerical I couldn't tell if it was because of what he had thought he'd seen or because of what had just happened._

_"It wasn't what it looked like Joe" I whispered trying to keep him from falling to the ground "That man, he's my brother, Bradley?" I continued once Joey remembered who Bradley was, I wasn't surprised he remembered I never stopped talking about Bradley, but Joey hadn't had chance to meet him yet. "He was helping me choose this for you" I explained, holding the bag up to this viewing and reaching in placing the dark green box into the palm of his hand._

_Joey opened the box, seeing the gold band "No?" He whispered finally meeting my gaze I nodded half smiling with tears in my eyes._

_"It wasn't meant to happen like this" I whispered letting out a small laugh "Marry me Jospeh Branning?" I tried to say with confidence my voice trembling gave me away as I looked to the floor, it seemed like an eternity just looking down at my feet, Joey's finger and thumb lifted my face to look at him directly._

_"How could I ever say anything but yes"Kissing me on the forehead, giving me the ring back, before I placed it on his ring finger, placing a kiss onto it._

_The moment was ended by the sound of more sirens in the distance._

_"I'm so so sorry Lo"He said hearing the sirens getting closer and then ending"This is all my fault, I've ruined everything babe"He said the sobbing starting again fear written across his face._

_"Joey you tell them that they just appeared, do whatever it takes, are you listening to me" I whispered to holding his face with hands "Look at me, I love you, none of this changes anything ok" I verified, before pressing my lips to his._

_"Forever" He said holding up the hand with the ring on._

**End of flashback**

I can still remember the taste on his lips, the taste of his tears, salty, its funny if I could taste happiness, fear and love it would taste the way his lips did. I really believed that it changed nothing in that moment, how wrong could I have been so wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

Denied

_**Been a while since I updated this due to my laptop being broken. Most of you will be relieved to know after this chapter there shall be no more flashbacks, I apologise if this story is confusing hopefully it'll make more sense after this.**_

_Remember everything that looks like this is flashback. _

**Chapter six**

**Flashback**

_Anyone who knew Joey on the square knew he would never purposely hurt anyone so why had his own uncle turned his back on him. Amy and Ronnie were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Was all that was going through my head, it was 3am and it didn't matter how hard I tried I couldn't sleep, I missed Joeys arms around me his hot breath on my neck as he slept that wasn't the only reason i couldn't sleep, in the morning Joey would be in court, seeking bail Bradley said the quicker they ask for bail to be granted the more chance of it happening. I was just so nervous what if they didn't grant him bail? Was all that ran through my mind in fact it ran through my mind right the way to 9am and as soon as 9am arrived I was being whisked to court_ _in Bradley's car, I waited in anticipation for the verdict Joey stood in front of the judge. _

_'Mr Branning I have considered everything and seeing as you have no other criminal convictions against you, I have every faith in you to not leave the country and meet your curfew of 7 o'clock signing in at number 5 Albert Square' _

_'Yes' Joey answered _

_'Then Mr Branning you are a free man until the court send a date for your trail, don't make me regret this' The woman said standing up and disappearing. _

_Joey was lowered back down in cuffs he wasn't aloud to be released until he'd signed the forms and collected the belongings they had taken from him when he was arrested. _

_I was waiting outside the court today had turn out to be a nice day, the sun was shining not a cloud in sight and my fiancée strolled out of the building looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, He seemed to have aged in the last three days. Standing in front of me he bowed his head staring at the ground I kissed the top of his head, "Hold me" He whispered, I knew he was broken._

_A few hours later everyone had decided it was best to leave me and Joey alone, best for who I don't know because He hadn't said anything since we left the court._

_Me and Joey opted to go to bed with a pizza, he'd come of mute for the last two hours and had given me the impression that the closer he was to me the better, he was lay in between my legs his head on my stomach, I played with his hair and watched his chest rise and fall, it had only been a few days but I'd missed his presence. _

_"I missed you" He admitted "I was so lonely Lo" He whispered_

_"I missed you too baby_" _I responded _

_"Everything's gonna be alright aint it Lo, we're going to be fine aint we?" He asked out loud _

_I barely managed to get out a yes, trying to hold back the tears. Joey lay ontop of me and soon fell asleep the things I had missed last night were now back where they belonged, it wasn't about sex it was just us, in our world doing what we did best when we were together...loving each other. _

_I woke up the same way I had fallen asleep Joey was literally pinning me to the bed with his body, being in prison really had changed him it was like he didn't want to let me go, he was scared I would be snatched away from him it broke my heart, he was like a little child. _

_After going through days of the same thing just me and Joey repeating what we had done since his bail, the day for change had come, the letter we had been dreading dropped on the door mat, revealing Joeys sentencing would be held on Friday 26th at 11 am and until then Joey was mute again, on the morning of his sentence he wrote me a letter and told me if he didn't come back tonight that I should read it and everything will make sense. I reassured him that he'd be back and that was that I kissed Joey on the mouth like it was the first time we kissed so special. _

_Standing in the dock he looked half the man he was weeks before hand. I wasn't listening to much until I heard the words that would break me and Joey "I sentence you to 15 years in prison for causing death by dangerous driving, you may apply for parole after the first five years. Take him down"_

**End of flashback**

I visited Joey in prison 3 times before he decided he never wanted to see me again, I haven't personally heard or seen him since. I hated the thought of never seeing him again, so took to the bottle, vodka was my new best friend along with these four walls.

_**Well that's it end of the flashbacks. Don't know if I should carry this on and after a few more chapters fast forward abit? Let me know what you think. Review and all that guys really appreciate it! **_


	7. Chapter 7

Denied

_**I'm so so terrible guys, just been mega busy! Updates daily this week I'm hoping! Been working every hour I can and was about to sleep before having to get up at 5, but decided to write this first..enjoy**_

**Chapter seven**

Propped up by the bed, I brought the vodka bottle to my lips draining the contents, it made my lips and throat burn as my body began to numb. This is what my life had spiralled into, every night I would drink vodka or wine or whiskey or rum anything alcoholic, I claimed it helped me sleep when people questioned me, well they questioned at the beginning not now, they had given up or maybe I had given up answering, I was hooked on Joey and now hooked on alcohol.

I opened up the top draw to our bed side table, finding the reason to my insanity. I don't know why I had kept I could quote every word from the first time I read it. Now it was crumpled up, the ink was smudged from the tears I had cried over it over and over again.

Straightening out the paper I began to read it like I had done everyday..

Baby,

If you are reading this it means tonight you are not in my arms, we aren't in our bed and I'm not in our house. Even as I'm writing this I'm missing you, your voice, your laugh and your kisses I'm missing the soft delicate touch of your hand in mine. I don't know how much you were expecting this to happen but I knew it was coming, I mean nothing good ever happens to us, it's always something. The thing that hurts me the most is that, they took my engagement ring off me when I first went in, they had taken everything from me, but being back here made me realise a lot of things, no food in the cupboards mail stacked up on the table, not only am I in prison but so are you so this is my goodbye to you Lo, the difference with you prison and mine this that you have a choice in whether you are there or not and at the moment I am keeping you there. I will always love you, my drama queen, but it's time to let go, 15 years is to long to wait..have everything we ever dreamed of and live life, embrace it with that beautiful smile. forever missing you, your Joe x

The tears escaped again, rolling down my face. This time I wasn't going to sleep off the alcohol, I did something that would change everything, I stumbled down the stairs, somehow finding myself behind the steering wheel of my car screeching out of the square.

**_Erm, not to sure about this chapter. Hope you guys aren't disappointed. Review!_**


	8. Chapter 8

Denied

_**Ok right I always say review your thoughts, but after a negative review on this story I either want to know what you don't like about this story or how i can improve it to make it more enjoyable. Thank you to everyone who has wrote reviews saying how much they like the story, I hope you continue to enjoy reading it.**_

**Chapter eight **

Driving past Walford tube station I felt the need to speed even more, I was traveling in the direction of Bridge Street, the place I had officially lost Joey, unbeknown to me at the time.

I had no idea where I was heading, but at the moment this was the only thing I felt in control of. My vision of the road was invaded by blue lights, in the darkness. "What were you doing?" I asked myself, it suddenly dawning on me that I could possibly be pulled over for drink driving, the sound of me thinking that and worry making me sober up in an instant. My worst thoughts were confirmed when the car slowed down in front of me, bringing the car to a standstill I rolled down the window "Hi, we noticed you driving irrationally, wanted to know if you are Ok?" The officer questioned standing on the other side of the drivers door.

"Erm yeah just a bit tired long night that's all" I replied trying to stifle the smell of alcohol on my breath.

"Have you had anything to drink at all?" He asked again

"Yeah I've had a glass of wine" I lied hoping he'd buy it.

"Don't mind stepping out the car and doing a breathalyser miss...?" He asked my heart was in my mouth, I'd managed to drink a litre of vodka and drive half the way to Southend.

I tried to step out of the car, but my legs failed me as I tripped. Holding up the device he instructed me to breathe into it.

I was definitely going to lose my license this time no doubt about it the second time drink driving and a hit and run conviction my luck was out.

"You're over the legal limit to drink, are you aware of that?" He interrogated staring at me in disgust

"Do you know how many people die because of careless drivers like you" shaking his head, and taking out the hand cuffs.

"I can't do anything other than, put you in the cells for the night sober you up a bit we'll see what happens in the morning" He said escorting me to his car.

After the shortest journey we had arrived.

"Right seeing as you were so far from Walford it's easier to take you to the prison this doesn't mean anything other than sobering you up in the morning you will be released" he informed me I nodded.

I was treated like a criminal every thing was taken from me I was searched and taken down to where I would be spending the night. Whilst on the way down the officer told me I would be sharing a cell with a male seeing as it was the only cell with a bed free, there was nothing I could say, I couldn't protest because it would go against me, I hated the thought of being anywhere near another man. Especially a criminal.

"Meet your new cell mate" he chuckled edging me into the small room forcing a blanket and other essential items into my hands and slamming the door shut.

This male hadn't turned his back to say anything since I'd been inside. The alcohol in my system giving a little more confidence then usual "You this rude to everyone?" I questioned regretting saying anything as soon as the words left my mouth.

Letting out a sigh he rolled over looking me straight in the eye "Lauren" he whispered

My mind was blank I couldn't speak the name I hadn't been able to call jolted out of my mouth "Joey" was all I could say

_**Was a little later then I'd wished, sorry. So unrealistic but I just wanted them together even just for a short period.**_


	9. Chapter 9

Denied

_**Finally got my laptop back from repairs! updating throughout the day and tomorrow with all my stories. So glad I can write again been torture reading everyone elses stories and not being able to post mine! **_

_**I'm re-writing chapter nine, and combining it with chapter ten. because I was very disapointed with it and re-reading it, today confirmed just how terrible it was, can't believe I even bothered to post it. Any way this chapter, is more to my standards, hope you enjoy. **_

**Chapter nine.**

"I said I didn't want to see you, what part of that didn't you understand?" He suddenly broke the silence, that had filled the room "Why are you here Lauren? What do you want?" Joey questioned me.

I looked around before answering, trying to find the right words to say. Faces I recognised blue-tacked to the wall. Alice, Lyn and one I wasn't expecting, me. This cell was like a shrine to me, not just one picture but around 20 photos scattered on the walls.

"I got arrested Joey" fighting back a laugh, he looked like he was going to laugh as well the corner of his mouth twitching. I had informed Joey of my past with the police and everything I had done when I was younger, he had always laughed because he couldn't imagine me doing anything against the law, because I had turned my life around so much. "Drink driving" I told him knowing the question was wanting to burst from his mouth. I lowered my head, seeing Joey's face drop.

He didn't speak, just stood up and slowly took steps towards where I was standing near the door, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. He was staring into my eyes and without him even saying anything I could have crumbled to the floor, knowing this was his sign of telling me he loved me, I knew he loved me, but after everything especially the denied visiting orders, I had began to doubt it, funny how one gesture can just wipe all the doubt away.

"Hold me" He whispered, his voice trembling. the sound of his voice again made my heart flutter.

I encouraged Joey to the bed, something that I had done many times before, but nothing like this, this broke my heart. He lay down on the bottom bunk, I closed the space between us and pulled his trembling body to mine, his head fell comfortably onto my chest as uncontrollable tears escaped his eyes.

Joey had stopped crying, a sob would jerk through his body every so often but he had fallen into a light sleep, I could still see the frown on his face and every now and then he would mumble something I couldn't understand. I could tell he hadn't slept for awhile and didn't have the heart to wake him, so we could talk things through. As much as I wanted to sleep in the same bed with him, I couldn't do it to myself and I couldn't do it to him either, knowing it would all go back to how it has been tomorrow. I shifted Joey's weight and slowly edged myself off of the bed, before I had chance to place my other foot on the concrete floor Joey shot up horror glazing his eyes.

"Where are you going?" He said in my favorite sleepy voice

"Think it's best for us both if I sleep in the top bunk" I replied, not wanting to say to much knowing how vunerable he was.

"Lo, sleep here" Joey said placing his hand in the space I had just come from.

"Joe, it's only going to make things harder when we have to say goodbye tomorrow" It broke my heart to say it but hopefully he understood.

"I'm sorry" He replied, I could hear in his voice that he was holding back tears.

"Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for" I whispered sitting down on the bed next to him, stroking his stubble face.

"I have, it's all my fault. It's my fault I'm in here, it's my fault you got arrested, it's my fault you're trying to fight sleeping next to me because it'll all be gone again tomorrow. I haven't slept in months as soon as you're here I'm out like a light" Joey whispered grabbing my hand softly kissing it and placing it on his chest. "I love you, I miss you" He whispered before snuggling his hair into my hair, and breathing in the scent.

"Don't say all that, only to refuse my visiting orders" I said shaking my head and moving myself to the edge of the bed.

"Ok then, forget about me Lauren, it's for the best" He whispered "I can't ask anymore from you, you loved me and my actions ruined it all, I can't make you pay the price for my mistakes, I'll be fine in here,I'll be fine without you"

"No, no you aren't doing this to me again" I realised the words had already pierced my heart "It' s not for the best" I shook my head pleading with my eyes.

"Why are you making this even more difficult Lauren? Do you think it's easy for me to watch you walk away knowing I won't be sleeping next to you tomorrow, or ever again?" Joey asked

"I'm making this difficult because, if you won't fight for us, I have too. I can't, no actually I won't go another day without you Joey, without hearing your voice, your laugh, seeing them gorgeous dimples when you give me that gorgeous smile and you know why, because I love you, because I'm going to hold you when you fall asleep and I'm going to do that forever Joe. I'm forever going to hold you and wipe away your tears and make sure you fall asleep at night, and it won't because I have to or because you ask me to but because I want to, I want to hold you baby" I argued grabbing his hands in mine, willing him to look me in the eye.

"I love you" He spoke, the words a lot louder than they had been the whole time I'd been here.

"I know, and you know I love you too, so much" I said as we lay side by side.

"Hmm" Was all that I heard as he pulled me that little bit closer to him, laying his head onto my chest I played with the hair on his nape "Sleep baby, those dark rings under your eyes don't suit you" I felt him chuckle beneath me and then his breathing changed, its was light and I knew he was asleep. I closed my eyes ready to sleep when Joey spoke again.

"Don't leave me, I was lying, I can't do this without you" He whispered.

_**Hopefully this is alot better, I think it is. Sorry again for not posting for ages! I'll be back tomorrow. **_


End file.
